The Proposal

from our engagement shoot.
photo by Charles Le  Photography

My wife Alise and I just celebrated out fifth wedding anniversary and I can honestly say, these past five years have been the best in my life so far.  But just because things are amazing right now doesn't mean they are at the pinnacle right now.  Our perspective on romance for example has changed greatly.  Now that we have two kids under the age of three, romance is a luxury.  For our fifth anniversary we had a romantic evening planned.  But in the end we had to consciously decide to not talk about the kids at dinner, spent 20 minutes in the hot tub and were both asleep by 10pm (did I mention it was New Year's Eve?)  Does that sound pathetic to you?  Then you must not have kids because to us it was glorious and amazing to spend an entire night alone and without interruption.  That is perspective for you because it wasn't always that way.  When we were young we were pretty romantic if I say so myself.  In fact I would have to say that the way I proposed was the most romantic thing I had ever done.  The best thing about my proposal however was that it was totally "us" - other couples have perfect proposal stories as well and it makes proposals great.  Each is unique to the couple, ideal for them and in many ways reflective of their values as a couple.

Our story started a few months earlier, Alise had just accepted a position at Vanguard University - which had always been her dream job but also meant she had to move about six hours away to Southern California.  It was the time to make the next step in commitment between us, to make that promise to each other.  I brought up the idea to our group of friends in our study group that we should go on a camping trip together and we decided on a campground near San Simeon - right off the beach which was perfect.  The gears were turning in my head.  Our friend Jen went shopping with me to look for a ring so I could get confirmation on style from a woman.  If not I might have picked a black titanium ring or something.  She also contributed a cake plate to the occasion.

the day after we were engaged

When we arrived at the campgrounds it was perfect.  From our group Matt and Danielle were there as well as Elissa, Amy, Dave and Mike and Jen.  It was the second night camping that I sprung my plan into action.  Our friend Amy took Alise into town for some quick shopping, while Mike, Jen and I went to a place I found the day before: a boardwalk trail over the sand with a benched lookout area near the beach.  We set up a table with candles, tablecloth and dinner.  When Alise returned from shopping I was at the campground waiting in a suit.

I told her the reason for the dinner was to celebrate her new job and played it cool through most of the meal.  At one point as it was getting dark I told her I wanted to see her better and walked over to give her a kiss.  While we were hugging I got down on one knee and took the ring out of my pocket.  I went over the words I was going to say for weeks ahead of time to get everything just right.  In reality however, the words didn't matter - she knew what was in my heart for her and said yes.

How did this reflect our personality as a couple?  We were surrounded by nature - which represents a closeness to God for both of us.  We were also able to share the event with our friends - which was very important to us as well.  Without our friends I don't think we would have been in a relationship.  In our busy lives today it seems we don't have much time for romance, but it does not diminish our love one bit.  With two small children we have made the most of every romantic moment we can, and will hopefully continue to for a long time.