The Heart of Worship

originally posted on www.crosswalkchurch.com

What does it mean to choose sacrifice? It is one of the guiding points of our vision statement and probably my favorite of the bunch. But it's also the toughest for me. Choosing sacrifice is not about putting other people before yourself. It is about choosing to follow what God has in store for your life instead of all the things society teaches us to want; to sacrifice our worldly and selfish wills and pursue God's will for us. It is cultivating a mindset that doesn't say "it's all about me and what I want." I don't think many people have that mindset intentionally, but I think it is an underlying thought process which guides many of our decisions.

Take worship for example. Often times I look around when worship starts and think "where is everyone? They are missing the best part!" I think worship is an integral part of what you experience on a Sunday. Why? Because it is about God and not about us. One thing I appreciate about Pastor Dave is that his heart is not to perform for us on Sunday, it is to lead us in our worship of the LORD. Worship is not about us hearing great music, it is about lifting up our voices together in community to celebrate and praise our God and Father. I think of worship as an opportunity to let go of all our concerns, troubles, and distractions in our lives and just focus on God and His greatness.

A few years ago I heard Pastor Mike Pilavachi of Soul Survivor church speak about worship and his experiences. If you have not heard of Soul Survivor, it is a large church in England where worship leaders/composers such as Matt Redman and Tim Hughes got their start. Pastor Mike spoke of a time where he felt the congregation and the worship band had lost their way. He did something drastic, he eliminated the band and sound system. It was just the worship leader, Matt Redman singing a capella. It was a challenge from the pastor for the congregation to engage with God during the time of worship and to do so with their hearts instead of their eyes. He challenged them to be "participants" in worship instead of "consumers." He asked the congregation “When you come through the doors on a Sunday, what are you bringing as your offering to God?” At first the congregation and the leader struggled and there were moments of awkward silence, but eventually they got it and the band was slowly reintroduced.

This experience was not just for the congregation. The worship leader Matt Redman was affected - you can read about his perspective of it all from an article on the Christianity website. From this experience he wrote the song "The Heart of Worship" which illustrates how the "me" thought process can invade our lives, and the importance of worship to be all about Jesus. The importance of choosing to sacrifice oneself.

When the music fades, All is stripped away
And I simply come, Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth, That will bless Your heart
I'll bring You more than a song, For a song in itself
Is not what You have required, You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear, You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it, when it's all about You
it's all about You, Jesus.

What a beautiful illustration of his experience and his heart for God which we can all learn from. Worship has been on my heart a lot lately, especially as we look through the Psalms in our current teaching series. I look forward to the opportunity to worship the LORD along with all of you.

Trying to Follow,

Mark

Pray for Me

originally posted on www.crosswalkchurch.com

Prayer can be funny because it messes with your pride. I admit it, I have a hard time asking for help. Asking God to change me is tough enough, asking others to pray for God to change me is something I don't do. I may ask others to pray for my circumstances, but to pray for me to change is tough because that involves admitting to other people I need to change. It is a vulnerability which is tough to face. But last month a group of us Crosswalkers went to a missions conference in San Diego and everything changed for me because of Matthew 9:36-38: When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

In this passage, Jesus is traveling around sharing the Good News and there are crowds gathering to hear Him. As it starts in verse 36, it is important to note that Jesus had compassion for the crowds - that is where it starts, He cared about them and wanted to help them. They needed guidance, they needed leadership. He knew His short visit to these lost sheep would not be everything they needed. He wanted to provide them with guidance because He cared for them. He wanted to "send out" workers who could be with the crowds. Important to note that the word used here for "send out" is the Greek ekballo and "send out" is not nearly strong enough. Ekballo is to violently throw, to cast out. This isn't sending out an e-mail. Some translations use "release" - but this is not release as you would a fish. Ekballo is like an athlete releasing a javelin; like a pitcher hurling a pitch. Think of that imagery for a minute and what Jesus was conveying by using ekballo. I don't know about you but I see a missionary being sent like a weapon towards the enemy.

Now, Jesus could have easily stayed with the crowds and been the shepherd they needed. Or He could have told the disciples to do so. But what is interesting is that He told them to ask God for workers to ekballo to the fields. Why does He tell His disciples to pray? Why doesn't He pray Himself? A prayer from the Son of God is certainly more effective than any prayer the disciples could have said. And isn't the Lord of the harvest aware of the need already? If not, isn't it "on God's time"? I don't know the answer to that. But I do know that Jesus knew prayer was needed and would help - and it is not just a request, it is a command.

Author and missionary Andrew Murray says this about the Matthew 9:38 prayer: "Without this prayer, fields ready for reaping will be left to perish. And yet it is so. The Lord has surrendered His work to His Church. He has made Himself dependent on them as His Body, through whom His work must be done. The power which the Lord gives His people to exercise in heaven and earth is real; the number of laborers and the measure of the harvest does actually depend on their prayer." In other words, the number of workers in the field is directly related to our prayers. We must pray in order for the harvest to be plentiful. So the question becomes "are you praying for workers?"

Now this is great but what does it have to do with my pride and prayer? Well, as many of you know, my wife Alise and I are drawn to being missionaries internationally. We have essentially structured our lives towards this future goal. But we also feel like God is holding us back for now, which is fine because we love being here and workers are needed everywhere. In this time of waiting and preparation though, we have not asked many people to pray for us. It's a tough thing to ask for. It's not easy to admit that we need prayer. We all love to pray for other people because often their problems seem more significant than our own. Maybe we even think that we can do it on our own. But that isn't the case - the workers need your prayers. And as followers of Christ we are all workers in His field. So here I am asking that while you pray to God to ekballo workers, please include us in your prayers. The workers of the fields need your prayers.

Trying to Follow,

Mark

Prayer, Fasting, and Intimacy with God

originally posted on www.crosswalkchurch.com

To close out the series "The Art of War", we invite everyone to fast and pray on Thursday 11/20. We will cap the day off with a time of prayer in the worship center between 6:30 and 7:30 pm. As excited as I am to fast with all of you, my brothers and sisters, I have to admit it has not always been that way. When I went to school for theology, one of the first books I was assigned to read was "The Spirit of the Disciplines" by Dallas Willard. I remember before that point I had fasted a few times, but really had no clue about what I was doing. I half expected God to impart on me some revelation about my life, as if fasting were some Christian version of peyote. I was excited to read a book about the disciples and get to the bottom of what fasting was about and how to do it right to get the results I wanted. I was sorely disappointed. I remember talking to another student about how unsatisfied I was: we were halfway through the book and it was all about why we should practice the disciplines and where our heart should be instead of how to practice the disciplines. My friend replied with "maybe the author is making a statement about what is really important." And he was so right. I think that is the number one thing to know about disciplines such as fasting and prayer. It is about the condition of your heart. Being closer to God is a process - prayer and fasting can aid us greatly in it. The purpose of fasting in particular is not to get what we want from God. It is to change us and train us to be closer to Him and more like Jesus. Jesus made it a point to fast before he began his ministry. Why? Not because it is some legalistic step he had to take to have a successful ministry, it is because it brought him closer to the Father. That is the first thing to know about disciplines such as fasting - they are about bringing you closer to God. 

Spiritual formation is a process, being more like Jesus is a process. They take practice and consistency over time. This is another reason to fast; it is like being an athlete. Being a great baseball player takes practice and hard work in preparation and training long before a game. Closeness to God is similar. My approach to prayer and fasting has changed over the years and I get so much more out of it now than I used to. Dallas Willard says this about fasting: "it teaches us a lot about ourselves very quickly. It will certainly prove humiliating to us, as it reveals to us how much our peace depends upon the pleasures of eating. ...fasting confirms our utter dependence upon God by finding in him a source of sustenance beyond food." In other words, by denying ourselves of what we want, but don't need, we practice self-denial - which is especially rare in this culture. Taking one day off from food, or technology, or whatever it may be that we fast from, shows us how much our bodies and desires drive us - and gives us an opportunity to practice denying those urges.

I have never experienced a time when fasting has been easy. But that is part of the beauty of it. Each time I feel hungry I pray. I pray to God to help me listen to Him rather than my stomach. I try to focus on God instead of myself. This is warfare, the enemy will try to distract you from the one in charge. This is why practicing prayer is so effective in concert with fasting. Food is the traditional item to fast from - but it does not have to be. For example, some people are so into video games that they forget to eat. For them, it would be much more effective to fast from video games for a day. We are asking everyone to fast from something on Thursday - be it technology, food, games, TV, music. Look at fasting in terms of self-denial. Things you think you need in life, but can actually give up for a day to focus on God. But also make sure it is something which you will miss. If you have a peanut allergy and choose to fast from peanuts, it probably won't make you rely on prayer so much. Nor will you have the opportunity to joyfully suffer.

Prayer is powerful, do not doubt that. God changes us through prayer. We can understand God better through prayer. We get closer to God through prayer. This is why we come together to pray Thursday. But don't spend the day telling God everything you want or need. Prayer is conversation. Spend the day asking God what He wants from you. Ask God how to rely on Him. Pray for discernment over the lies of the enemy. Then pray the same for your brothers and sisters in Christ. And the community. Please specifically pray for our governmental leaders. Pray that God will change them too. That God will give them discernment over the enemy. Pray for Liberia - that people will unite to aid them instead of run away in fear. Most of all, pray that all of us grow closer to Jesus, to learn to be like Jesus, and to align our lives with God's will.

Trying to follow,
Mark

What is Love?

Recently I had the opportunity to really study the meaning and concept of the word love. So much of our lives are centered around and/or searching for love. We live in a culture today in which "love" is mainly an emotion or a feeling. "Falling in love" is not seen as a choice you make, but as something that happens to you. Like something which comes and goes as it pleases. 

But love like that, simply emotion, is not what the Bible says love is. There are three Greek words for love used in Scripture and all of them are less emotion and more choice - a way of life rather than a feeling one gets. Which is an especially important point when it comes to marriage. One of the most important parts of a marriage are the vows and promises. But promises cannot be made about feelings; feelings come and go, honestly, there are days when I may not be as emotionally attached to my wife because I am more focused on other things. No, nothing is wrong with our marriage. What I am trying to say is that love in the Bible, love in marriage, love in relationships, is based on actions. The choice to care for and be a blessing to each other even when we don't "feel" like it. Actions are things we can make promises about. (And so does God.) It may not always be what we want or expect, but that is our fault, not God's.

God built within each of us a natural tendency to love - and His desire is for us to show love to each other. In John 13:34-35 (NIV) Jesus flat out says it: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Wow, read that again. According to Jesus (who I like to try to listen to) the defining characteristic of His followers is how much we love. Not how often we go to church, or if we memorize Scripture (which are important, no doubt) but the primary desire of Jesus is that we love one another. There are times I have been struggling with this lately. I admit it, I get caught up in all the things I need to do for Sundays to go well. I let feelings and emotions get the best of me - and as a result, I am not acting out of love. I'm not saying I don't love, I am just saying that other things get the best of me and other things become my goal over love. And for those of you on the wrong end of that I apologize and hope you can forgive me.

I bring this up because right now we are starting a new series: "The Art of War" about Spiritual Warfare. There is no denying that Satan is attacking us constantly. This is a good thing - Satan wouldn't care if we were on the wrong track. But the best defense is a good offense, and in the case of Spiritual Warfare, a good offense is acting in love. This is how we get closer to God. This is how we understand Him best. 1 John 4:7-11 says "Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us." Think about that the next time you are upset at or annoyed with one of those people Jesus died for. I'm not saying don't get angry; Jesus got angry. What I am saying is, ask yourself where your actions are coming from. If the answer is anything other than a place of love, you might want to think about that some more. Choose love. Make it your way of life. Let people see that you are a follower of Christ by how much you love.

Trying to Follow,
Mark

A Failure of Nerve

I have certain leadership principles which guide me in life, and in this one I failed. I had a failure of nerve. Let me explain; one the leadership books which guides me is A Failure of Nerve by Edwin H. Friedman. In the book, Friedman compares American society and its leadership to a dysfunctional family (he is a rabbi and family therapist.) Part of what he explains is how leaders have become primarily concerned with safety over adventure, satisfying complaints rather than leading from strength and vision, and looking to procedures and data rather than relationships to solve problems. This happens in families and is happening in society as well. Where I had the breakdown was in safety over adventure.

A few weeks ago my family went with some friends on a day trip to the tide pools near Monterrey. I was with my five year old daughter and my three year old son climbing over rocks and looking at the animals caught by the tide. It was a great opportunity to teach my kids how to be adventurous and let them gain confidence by climbing on the rocks. I told my hesitant daughter that the worst that could happen was to get wet. Then I watched as my daughter gained confidence and became more adventurous as she jumped from rock to rock. My friend and his son (about my daughter's age) did the same. It was this wonderful moment of bonding and adventure. We came to the end of the tide pools where there was a three foot jump over the water to a rock with only a small six inch ledge for the foothold on the other side. I looked and didn't think I could make it, especially not while helping my son. And there was definitely no way my daughter could make it. Then, without hesitation, my friend's son ignored the advice of the adults and took the leap... and made it to the other side. He was determined to make it to the top of a larger rock and this gap over the ocean was not going to stop him. My friend and I were shocked. My daughter immediately told me that she wanted to try it as well, and I said no. At the time I felt it was the correct decision, but on the way home I knew that I made a mistake. Was it really that big of a deal? Not really, but I am trying to help cultivate a spirit of adventure in my kids, so they aren't constantly held back by thoughts of safety. And not letting her at least try the jump was not the mindset I want her to have. Thankfully, my daughter quickly bounced back by telling us that she is going to start training to be an American Ninja Warrior.

Why do I think a sense of adventure is so important? Let me give you an example from Friedman's book: Christopher Columbus. If he were to sail into the unknown today, he would never get past OSHA or congress. Now, I am not saying that Columbus was some great guy with pure intentions. What I am saying is that he is not primarily concerned with safety, and it paid off in ways he did not imagine. We all need to take risks in our lives, and it is something which is cultivated in us.

Having the boldness and courage to take risks allows us to rely on God when our own certainty of the outcome is removed. We become more focused with ways to succeed rather than what could go wrong. We become centered on opportunity instead of avoidance of crisis. Evaluating risk is prudent, being smart instead of careless is good, but the desire for safety, the need for certainty, cannot be what drives our decisions.

One thing Friedman makes clear in his book, the solution to a failure of nerve is not to simply try harder. Rather it starts with internalization. In the case of my daughter jumping over the water the solution is not simply to try harder in seeking adventure, it is to prepare and cultivate within myself the spirit of adventure ahead of time. So when the opportunity comes, I am ready rather than defaulting to safety. What does that look like? In Acts 4 the disciples prayed for boldness after Peter and John were arrested. Jesus prayed at Gethsemane for God's will rather than his own. In my own prayer life I frequently pray for opportunity, but opportunity alone is nothing if it is not taken. What I am going to pray is that I have the boldness to jump at opportunity and that I am on the lookout for ways to cultivate that in my kids. Then I am going to go to the guys in my LTG to make sure they hold me accountable to it. 
 

Trying to Follow,
Mark

Scandal of Grace

"Scandal of Grace" is a worship song by Hillsong that has been stuck in my head for the past few days and the title has got me thinking about how much the message of Jesus is unexpected. God's grace took the form of a scandal - a public disgrace that should have damaged His reputation. But just like so many other things in life, God took what man sees as negative and turned it in to a win. Everything about Jesus' message was and continues to be against conventional wisdom. In the eyes of man, when we commit a crime, we pay the price for it. But the message of Jesus says that we do the crime and He pays the price. His grace has set us free from our sin, not so we can continue to pursue a life of sin, but so we can take a part in His plan for this world.

The message of Jesus is so shocking, so unexpected, that we struggle to really accept it. When Jesus brought the message the Pharisees couldn't accept it. They were so focused on their sin and making it right with God that they couldn't move forward. They were stuck on sin. I think we often continue to do the same thing today with whatever guilt, shame, or scandal we have had in our own lives. Even with our sin conquered we choose let it hold us down. God's grace is so amazing that we can't accept it for ourselves. Even though we hear about it, we struggle to let go of our sin, accept the grace, and move forward with our lives. It happened to me. A few months ago I wrote a post called "Beyond Judgement" where I shared about how the church reacted after my divorce. I felt shame that I had let God down. I held onto that shame for a long time. I chose not to forgive my own role in the divorce. In fact, I think I looked down on myself more than anyone else did. Even though I knew that God forgave me, I still wanted to hold onto it. Think of the prodigal son coming home, practicing what he is going to say, still holding onto the shame of his sin. But the father didn't care, the father was just glad to have him back. In an act of scandalous grace the father showed him how to get past it. That is what it took for me as well. In the midst of my self-imposed shaming God gave me the most significant experience in my life: He called me to missions: I was listening to a sermon here at Crosswalk by a guest speaker and there were images on the screen of children in other countries dying of hunger. While looking at the pictures I felt an overwhelming urge to be there and help those children. Not just to visit, but to make it a part of my life. It was bigger than a simple desire to help people, I knew that in that moment God was reaching out to me and calling me to a specific part of His plan. I came up with every excuse I could and each was shot down. I felt I wasn't worthy to share the Good News with anyone if I was divorced. But, God was calling me to something so it was obvious He was looking past the divorce, why couldn't I? There is so much more to this story and now is not the time to share it. Suffice it to say that after that day my life was changed greatly. I am still waiting on God to show me the when and the where of my missions calling, but I am gaining experience and preparing in the meantime. Working at Crosswalk is a part of that preparation.

The prodigal son held onto his shame but the father's grace shocked and surprised him. I had a hard time letting go of my shame, but God surprised me with His grace. He wants you to move forward too. If there is some shame, guilt, or disgrace in your past that you are holding onto, let it go. God provided us with a scandal of grace so great that we are set free. Jesus died so that we don't have to. God has done something so amazing for us, forgives us, and wants us to be a part of His plan; why waste time holding ourselves back? There are plenty of other obstacles in life to overcome that restraining ourselves is useless. It may not happen right away, and it may take help, but that is one of the things the church is here for. Talk to your LTG, to your Life Group, to one of the pastors here. But take that step in letting it go and move forward. God has given you the strength to do amazing things in this life. Choose to accept it and respond in love towards others.

 

The day and its trouble shall come

I know that Your strength is enough 

The scandal of grace, You died in my place 

So my soul will live
 - Scandal of Grace by Hillsong

 

Trying to Follow,
Mark